Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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