Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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