Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
