You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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