Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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