Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
