Have you finally orgasmed yet?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
