i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
