He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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