Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
