One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
