We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
