i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
