Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
