You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
