True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
