i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
