My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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