Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
