Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
