I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
