Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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