Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
