So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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