walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
