He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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