Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
