it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
