sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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