I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
