i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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