somebody snuck up and got me drunk
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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