so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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