It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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