She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
