So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
