Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
