her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
