who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
