Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
