I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
