it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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