i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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