the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
