I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
