So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
