I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
