That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Someone shit on the floor
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
