i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
