Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
