Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
