I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
