She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
