The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
