I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
