she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
