and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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