I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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