I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
